An apple tree sits on top of a hill.
Beyond the hill, towards the bottom is a pear tree.
Children often come here after school to grab a snack and
hang out.
Described as a place of peace is where they are.
Every day they gather around and talk and eat.
Fortunately, the fruits grow back quickly.
“Go on,” one says, “there’s plenty more where they came
from.”
Hot summer days are what make the shade of the trees
enjoyable.
“I can put both a
pear and an apple in my mouth!” Ingrid speaks.
Justin thinks Ingrid is stupid.
Kelly sits under the apple tree to study.
Luscious fruits await the children at the end of the school
day.
Most of the time, the area is occupied except during winter.
Now, it is still summer so there is nothing to worry for.
Orange trees line the other side of the hill, opposite to
the pear tree.
Pears are very unsettled by the recent influx of oranges.
Quite the sight, a line of orange trees and a single apple
tree at the top of the hill.
Recently, children now gather around the orange trees.
So the apple and pear tree now feel left out.
The turning into fall is upon us.
Unless someone pays attention to these two trees, they will
not make it.
Voluptuous these trees are no more.
Would it seem that they have grown old and are no longer of
use?
Xena observes the two trees from the orange side of the
hill.
Zach, and all the other kids see the apple tree fall and
roll down the hill, knocking down the pear tree and it was as if they never
stood proud on the hill.
I liked how this work clearly connected each sentence to the last, the imagery painted a picture in my head of the once popular apple and pear trees falling over, it almost seemed like a giant metaphor of suicide, although that's probably not what you meant it to be.
ReplyDeleteone thing I would like to point out is H-K sentences are not flowing through your story as well as the others, it was a little choppy, but with a little work I bet this would make a very good work of literature!
I would rate this piece 4.3 out of 5 hearts. because rating in stars is stupid.
"Rating in stars is stupid." - Josie, you are very funny! This is a good piece Rindle Dindle. I like it. It was kind of dark, but I enjoyed it all the same.
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